Sunday, September 15, 2013

Stop Thief!

If you're going to rob people's homes, make sure you don't rob a Satanist, or you just might get CURSED! We're sending out an entire LEGION of demons to get whoever robbed this guy! Hail Satan!

http://worshipsatan.org/requests/thief.mp3

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

He's just kidding. He hopes we die.

Death threats are so adorable when they come from christians, aren't they? Spoiler alert: everyone dies at the end. Enjoy life while it lasts, and never stop sinning! Hail Satan!

http://archive.org/download/SatanicPrayerLine/justkidding.mp3

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Billy: You are CURSED!

This guy sounds like a real A-Hole. Please send a photo of him to prayerline@worshipsatan.org so we can work on a more effective hex. Hail SATAN!

http://worshipsatan.org/requests/billy.mp3

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Unplanned

This girl needs more than prayers. Whoever left this, your situation sounds very desperate, but there is real help available. Call planned parenthood immediately. Someone there will talk to you and tell you what your options are. Their website is http://plannedparenthood.org/ and their toll free number is 1-800-230-7526. CALL THEM NOW!

We'll still pray for you that your situation works out to your advantage, but you can't just sit and wait for Satan or God or anyone else to solve your problems for you. You need to do something too. Call planned parenthood now, and if they can't help, ask them who can. Keep following up. It's not hopeless. It's not going to be easy. You're going to have to confront people and have uncomfortable conversations, but that's simply the price we pay to be free. Trust us. It's worth it.

Hail Satan!

http://worshipsatan.org/requests/unplanned.mp3