Friday, July 6, 2012

Is Satan anything like Santa?

Maybe. As the Church Lady foretold, just swap the last two letters. Here's a list of prayer requests for the Dark Lord:

Have you been naughty or nice? Satan wants you to be naughty.

The ugly soul

We pray for Nietzsche's art of the ugly soul to come to fruition. Hail Satan!

Monday, July 2, 2012

Break a leg

A prayer request from a true follower of the Dark Lord:
We wish you the best we can without jinxing it. Break a leg for Satan!

Sunday, July 1, 2012

A prayer from Jesus M. Christ

We're not sure if he's any relation to his more well-known namesake Jesus H. Christ. The important thing is that he's talking to us. Let's hope he manages to avoid the fate of the other one. Our advice: if you find yourself being tempted in the desert, do what feels good, not what you think is right. Remember, they can't sacrifice you to the angry storm-god to pay for the sins of the world if you're no longer a spotless virgin. So defile yourself now while you still have the chance! Hail SATAN!