We're not sure if he's any relation to his more well-known namesake Jesus H. Christ. The important thing is that he's talking to us. Let's hope he manages to avoid the fate of the other one. Our advice: if you find yourself being tempted in the desert, do what feels good, not what you think is right. Remember, they can't sacrifice you to the angry storm-god to pay for the sins of the world if you're no longer a spotless virgin. So defile yourself now while you still have the chance! Hail SATAN!